A will is a public, formal, legally binding document. That is its strength and its limitation. There are things you want your family and executors to know that do not belong in a formal legal instrument: reasons, context, guidance, the personal detail of who should have which photographs. The letter of wishes is where all of that lives.
What a letter of wishes is
A letter of wishes is a private note that sits alongside your will. It is not legally binding, and that is deliberate: because it binds nobody, it can be changed any time without witnesses or formality, and because it is not part of the will, it stays private even after probate makes the will itself a public document. Executors and trustees are expected to take it seriously; they are not compelled to follow it.
What to put in it
- Guidance for trustees. If your will creates a trust, especially a discretionary one, the letter tells your trustees how you hope they will use their powers: who to prioritise, when to advance money, what you would think about paying school fees.
- Reasons for hard decisions. If you have excluded someone who might expect to inherit, a considered explanation in the letter is powerful evidence if they later challenge the will under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975. Write it calmly and factually.
- Personal possessions. Rather than thirty small clauses in the will, one clause gives your personal effects to your executors to distribute, and the letter lists who gets the watch, the paintings, the recipe books. Update the list whenever you like.
- Guidance for guardians. If you have named guardians for young children, the letter is where you describe the upbringing you hope for: schooling, faith, contact with family, the things a court order never captures.
- Practical notes. Where documents are kept, where the will itself is stored, who your accountant is, what should happen to pets.
- Messages. Some people include letters to children or grandchildren. There is no rule against warmth.
What to keep out of it
Anything you need to be enforceable belongs in the will, not the letter. The letter cannot give away assets, appoint executors or change shares; if it tries to, it creates conflict between two documents and an opening for dispute. Passwords and account keys should not go in either document: use secure storage your executors can reach, and let the letter point to it.
The one mistake that undermines it
Do not sign the letter in front of witnesses. It sounds diligent, but a witnessed letter can look like an attempted codicil or a testamentary document, inviting argument about whether it was meant to be binding. Date it, sign it plainly if you wish, keep it with (not stapled to) your will, and replace it entirely when you update it, destroying the old version.
Wishes that reach people in time
Some wishes cannot wait for the will to be read. Funeral wishes in particular are often discovered after the funeral has already happened. Willful separates the two on purpose: your will carries the binding decisions, while your funeral wishes and personal messages live as a record your family can be given access to at the moment they need it, alongside the letter of wishes guidance built into the will interview.